Life's a fillet of fish.... uh yes it is!

Annie Hall

“I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this… this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy, he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships; y’know, they’re totally irrational, and crazy, and absurd, and… but, uh, I guess we keep goin’ through it because, uh, most of us… need the eggs.”

Brilliant film.

You wanna know how I did it?

Under the Same Moon

Tonight I watched Under the Same Moon. I prejudged the movie. It was obviously going to be a tear-jerker, only presenting one side, and there was going to be no way you could say the main characters were terrible for being illegal immigrants even if you are incredibly conservative. I was not disappointed.

            What really struck me, besides the political agenda (zooming in on the immigrant crossing sign), was the message of what it is to be human. Love. Meaning. Call me a hippie and I’ll tell you that love is not all you need. But I challenge you to tell me why a person would give up everything for someone else without love in your answer.

            The thing is, that’s what most of psychology does and it drives me insane. We have so many “theories” that “explain” human behavior and what it means. And yet none of them seriously consider meaning to be fundamental in understanding the human experience. The cause of our behavior is usually something biological or conditioned by our environment. And these ideas have permeated the way we think about the world. How often are we bombarded by “pop” psychology, where the findings are presented as truth and usually are a determined excuse for our behavior. For example, how many times have you heard that men are hard-wired to be sexually promiscuous and they simply can’t help it? Not only does this take away any meaning in the act of having sex, but it takes away responsibility for our actions.

            Why am I rambling about things not related to the movie? Because it’s important. This movie was a tear-jerker because this stuff is important. Because whether we like to admit or not, family is important. Giving up all you have for someone you love is an incredible thing to do. Giving up everything for someone you don’t have a deep love for is almost more incredible. Like when Enrique gave himself up to the police so Carlitos could escape. A lot of the ways our society looks at the world denies the importance of how we live.

            Maybe I’m naive. Actually, I know I’m naïve. But, all the same, whether we’re talking about psychology or immigration policy, we’re always talking about people. And we can’t ever forget that. For me, this means, that people like Carlitos should have every opportunity we can give them without question. I know that’s not reasonable and I know I have a lot to learn and I know my parents would probably kill me if they knew how liberal I am, but that’s the only thing that seems right to me.

           

            

I also know how important it is, not necessarily to be strong, but to feel strong.

I was obsessed with the story of Chris McCandless for months last year... and still kind of am. To me, his story was an inspiration. He was bold. He was thoughtful. He tried things. He pushed boundaries. He saw beauty. Though I do not think his philosophies are complete in any way, I think they are beautiful. 


It's funny... throughout his journey he emphasizes a kind of individuality or autonomy. Being alone, one on one against the elements, is the way to be connected with something greater - the way to find oneself. Very Nietzsche-esque. And yet one of the last things he wrote, as he was dying in an abandoned bus in the Alaskan wilderness, was "happiness is only real when it's shared".


More on Chris later... I really am obsessed with him.

 

Because the fact of the matter is

There’s a girl outside playing saxophone and I'm listening.

Every night she stands outside and plays her saxophone. Even though it’s freezing and dark. I don’t know why she’s out there…. Maybe her roommates don’t like the noise. Maybe she prefers the cold. At any rate, I always open my window to listen.

I don’t think she knows I do this every night. I doubt she knows I can hear her from across the street. From all I know, we don't know each other. I do not know her name or any other demographics. She does not know me. Out of all the windows in my building, she would not know that mine is open for the express purpose of hearing her play. And yet, it is.

I do know some things though. I know she practices scales with particular vigor. I know she struggles with her E scale. I know she plays with certain vibrance: each note is a tiny crescendo. I know she plays some jazz. I know she stands facing the street. I know she wears a scarf. I know she stops playing at 10 pm. And I know how I feel when she plays.

I could shut my window because it’s cold outside. Or because the noise bothers me sometimes. Or because the passing cars drown out a large portion of what she plays. I could try to ignore her existence. It’s not like I have to listen. 

But the thing is, she's a saxophone player because someone is listening. And I'm a listener because someone is playing. So often, I live my life as though I am the only one in the world because my own qualities -  industriousness, self-sufficiency, empathy, etc -  are important to me. And yet, I would not have any of these things if it were not for other people. I am only self-sufficient because I have little desire for others to help me. I am only empathetic because there are others to feel empathy for. I am only industrious because there are those who are not. I am only me because of you. 

Here and now we're bombarded with self self self. As if we exist as individuals with inherent qualities that do not depend on anyone else. I'm not sure if that's true. 

Because the fact of the matter is, there’s still a girl outside playing saxophone every night and I'm listening.

November means blogging time

It's been a year since I've blogged?  And I suddenly have to urge to add to my lonely four posts... Exactly a year later. Interesting. But it is what it is and here I am! Here's to trying to write all the time again. Also, here's an interesting link:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-15391515

There's so many people on this planet!