I swam in this lake. On top of a mountain.
Life is damn good. Life is so damn good.
Do you ever have those moments where you just feel so alive,
you can’t quite be contained? Like the air is filled with electricity and every
breathe is just this call to go and do and belong to something? Like nothing
can stop you, like anything you want is at your fingertips, like where you are
is exactly where you need to be? Like even though things aren’t exactly what
you thought they would be, they are perfect and beautiful and vibrant and fill
your whole being with purpose and acceptance…
I know I write about a lot of more difficult topics and
maybe it seems that I focus on the negative too much, but there is a reason for
that focus. I believe that finding those truly pure, beautiful moments in life
requires an acceptance of it’s exact opposite. Not only an acceptance, but a
willingness to throw oneself into the possibility that the situation might turn
out either way and there’s no way to control the outcome. Difficult situations
are important. And wonderful, pleasing moments are important too. But you can’t
have one without the possibility of the other..
I don’t want to run away from painful things because I don’t
want to run away from wonderful things. I don’t want a dichotomy in my life
that isn’t real. Because it all can be beautiful and I don’t ever want to limit
myself or deny myself the possibility of feeling and experiencing what life
throws at me. Or what I throw myself into. Life is too short for me to live
like that.
The two times I’ve climbed Mount
Timpanogos , this concept has been very clear to me. And it was
clear to me as I crossed the finish line of my first 100 mile bike ride. And
after I finished biking up Squaw
Peak
And in those times, and other times as I’ve allowed myself
to feel, life is so damn good. Life is so perfect in it’s incomplete, messy, inconsistency.
Life is glorious. Though everything seems to be out of place to my rational
mind, I’ve come to realize, I’ve never known what it means for things to be in
place. And that very thought, the fact that I think I know the why’s and how’s
of what my life is supposed to be, is the one that stops me from seeing how
truly exquisite life is. But it’s there. It’s all there. Just there waiting to
be seen and felt and heard. Just waiting to let you in on its secrets.
Life is so damn good.
