Speed Limit Enforced By Aircraft

I love lying to people.

That's not true.

I love making up stories and trying to get people to believe absolutely ridiculous explanations for very regular phenomena.  I'm not sure why I do this or why I think it's so amusing, but it is. Most of my humor is very sarcastic and hyperbolic and the funny thing is, I'm pretty successful at getting people to believe what I'm saying. Like the time I convinced my brother that frog-eye salad is really made from frog eyes leading him to exclaim, "that's a lot of frogs!". Or when I convinced him that pasta grows from trees that originated in a pasta forest in Italy. Or that time when I convinced my other brother that a piece of wood was organic chicken and actually got him to eat it. Many of my lies are about food...

So I was in California a couple of weekends ago, and I'm always amused on my drive there because of these:

Really? Enforced by aircraft? Like California really has money to spend on jet fuel for planes to enforce the speed limit on I-15. That's not expensive or anything... So I did some EXTENSIVE research on the topic (i.e. I googled it). According to various, sketchy open internet forums full of apparent experts on speed limit enforcement, the topic is quite controversial. Some people claim to have been caught speeding by aircrafts who use little white flags on the highway to judge the speed of vehicles. When an aircraft identifies the offending vehicle they radio it in to a state trooper. Other people say, these signs were put up in the 90's when people thought aircraft enforcement would be economical. It wasn't, and it wasn't economical to take all the signs down either, so speed on. And still others say it's simply a psychological trick to make people think they're being watched so they obey the law.

So what's the real reason? What do these signs really mean?

There is surprisingly little, credible information on these signs, which led me to ask, "why is there so little credible information on these signs?" The answer is obvious. If we, as humans with little funds for such endeavors, were to enforce speed limits by aircraft, we would be wasting tons of money and time. Something bigger is afoot. Something bigger than a psychological trick to get us to obey the law. Maybe there's no information because it's kept secret and because no one who knows more has lived to tell the tale.

Speed enforced by aircraft means one thing: aliens. In the 1990's when these signs first appeared, the government was working on an intergalactic treaty with an alien life form. These aliens, being highly intelligent and way more advanced than us humans, were threatening to destroy the earth and use us as slaves for their own technological advancement. However, these aliens were surprised by our intelligence, not because it was anywhere close to their own, but because humans were intelligent enough to be protected by their ethical code for preserving intelligent life. But they still needed us for their own gain and were power-hungry enough to threaten world leaders, so they demanded a small portion of the human population as payment for not destroying Earth. After careful deliberation, alien experts and world leaders decided the most effective way to do this would be to have the aliens abduct people who break the law, namely, people who speed. All people who speed in designated areas are no longer protected by human, earthly laws but are under the jurisdiction of alien life forms who have free reign to do whatever they want with them. These areas would be well marked by signs saying "Speed enforced by aircraft" in order to warn those traveling to reduce their speed but not let on that other life-forms exist; secrecy was key because as soon as people began to catch on, the aliens might retract their agreement and destroy Earth anyway. And so it began. Since then, anyone caught speeding by the aliens has been beamed up into a spaceship and probably experimented upon, eaten, or cloned for slave labor. That's why no one knows what these signs mean.

Don't ever speed on I-15.

By the way, these are the same aliens depicted in the movie Cowboys and Aliens. This movie was only a flop because the government got wind of how accurate and awesome it was turning out to be and didn't want the Earth to be destroyed because of it. So they demanded that Jon Favreau and the writers of the movie make it slightly less awesome, and demanded that Harrison Ford not be an amazing actor in order to save the human race. It's ok Harrison, we know what really happened there and thanks for saving the world like you always do.